Thursday, February 6, 2014

FSF Challenge - Ache

Lillie McFerrin Writes
This week's writing challenge from
Five Sentence Fiction
Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt:


What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.

A sad tale this week, with no picture. I couldn't find one that fit the mood.

Visions of the Past

Donna watched him jog by with a girl she didn't know, her ponytail bouncing in unison with her steps, his smile visible even from across the street. Her legs, strong and shapely, carried her down the lane, moving effortlessly through the morning mist. They made an attractive couple, or would have to anyone else. Donna looked down at her bent and useless limbs and realized that was her life, the life before the accident, when Brad used to smile at her. She rolled her wheelchair away from the window and into the darkness.

The horror anthology,
includes my poem,
The Ballad of Drunken Jack.
Available on Amazon for Kindle or in paperback.
The zombie anthology,
Haiku of the Dead
by Dreamscape Press,
includes my poem,
Hunting Season.
Available on Amazon in paperback.

Writers! Share the best blog post, story, or poem you've written in 2013 here: Best of 2013

© 2012-2014 K. R. Smith All rights reserved


  1. Replies
    1. Yes, it is. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  2. So I voted it Wicked Cool!
    I've sort of been in Donna's place: not the loss of limbs, but watching the guy I was in love with walk by with another girl, and feeling crushed.

    1. To be in love is to take that risk, and it hits the guys just as bad as the girls. And thanks for voting - not many people do!

  3. That's Heartbreaking... Well written

    1. Thanks! It was what came to mind - a heartache - when I read the prompt.

  4. That is beautiful and sad. Thanks for sharing :)

  5. Not a wasted word.

    1. That is one of the best compliments a writer can receive. Thanks!

  6. Awful. What a deeply felt ache that would be. The story reminds me of the fact that when you lose a limb your brain can trick you into thinking you still feel pain where your lost limb used to be. That is like the ache of watching an ex run by with a new ache where something used to be, but is no longer.

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting! It would be a difficult situation to handle - the despair, the hopelessness - it could all become very dark for Donna.

  7. Very well written and also quite sad. It makes you think about what would happen if you were in the same position. One day fit and healthy and the next day = totally having to rely on others. On the brighter side, the lovely woman with the ponytail might have been his trainer and the lady in the wheelchair was doing over-time with her mind. Just one of my wild thoughts again.

    1. Hmmm... your wild thought is interesting. It might make for a good follow-up story if the right prompt comes along!


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