Wednesday, January 14, 2015

FSF Challenge - Offering



Five Sentence Fiction badge from Lillie McFerrin Writes

This week's writing challenge
from
Five Sentence Fiction
Lillie McFerrin Writes )
is based upon the prompt:

Offering


What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.





I would have thought a nice card would have been enough...
 





Final Offering



Image: Hand held out with light within. Source: http://lilliemcferrin.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/offering.jpg


    Clouds had covered the sky for weeks, and a misty drizzle soaked the fields. With the spring planting long overdue, it would soon be too late for the seeds to grow and bear fruit before harvest time. The high priest lifted his torch to the sky, an offering of light and warmth, to show the gods what his people needed. Their only reply was an indignant rumbling of thunder, the demand for a greater sacrifice delivered to the heavens by a messenger of smoke. As he placed the torch into a circle of dry tinder, lashed to a pole, I waited within for the flames to lift my spirit into the darkness.
 


© 2012-2015 K. R. Smith All rights reserved

12 comments:

  1. Nicely written, very atmospheric. I went the sacrifice path as well (I'm sure there will be a few), its fertile ground for stories.

    Cheers
    KT

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I've seen a number of others based on the sacrifice idea. The prompt tends to lead people in that direction.

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  2. You may have used the same theme as some of the others, but the quality of writing and twist at the end pulled it out of the pack. Love the appearance of first person POV.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! That last line came as sort of a "happy accident." It seemed to work, so I left it as it was.

      Delete
  3. Yes, great minds and all that ;)
    Nice perspective too, but not sure I want to linger as the flames devour though! Just hope the gods are listening...

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    1. I know what you mean about those flames! With my luck, the gods would all be listening to Donna Summer singing:
      "Gotta have some hot love, baby, this evenin'
      I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight..."

      Delete
  4. Surely the Gods can't be so cruel! May be the person who interpreted the thunder as the disgruntled cry of the Gods sould have offered himself!!! :D

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    Replies
    1. I think that is one of the perks of being the priest!

      Thanks for stopping by, Vidya! Always great to see a comment from a new name!

      Delete
  5. I loved this, it is beautifully written. I would love to read on from this piece and learn more about the character about to go up in flames. I have missed out on the 5 sentence story for a good while now. But this has prompted me to start it up again, many thanks fr that, :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! And don't worry about missing a few FSF challenges. I've missed a few myself. The end of the year is a busy time for many folks, and I've hardly had time to read the posts let alone write them!

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  6. Visually beautiful and well written. Standing in the sacrificial flames, what a sacrifice

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I have to admit, it's not a perspective I would personally like to experience!

      Delete

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