Friday, July 18, 2014

FSF Challenge - Rain



Lillie McFerrin Writes
This week's writing challenge from
Five Sentence Fiction
Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt:

Rain

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.



A short one this week...





Tears Among the Raindrops
 
 
Image (cropped) "Falling_rain_in_Mexico.jpg Copyright © Tomas Castelazo
Falling_rain_in_Mexico.jpg
© Tomas Castelazo, www.tomascastelazo.com /
 Wikimedia Commons /
CC-BY-SA-3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
 

    He found her standing outside a cafĂ© as the rain began to fall, broken-hearted and sobbing. He had always loved her, and hoped someday she would notice, but as he walked her home through the downpour, she vowed never to let herself fall for another man. 
    "I like the rain," she said, tilting her face up toward the sky. "It hides my tears."
    "Mine, too," he replied.



Image source:  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AFalling_rain_in_mexico.jpg  
Description: Falling rain in downtown Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico.


© 2012-2014 K. R. Smith All rights reserved

19 comments:

  1. Love can be tragic. Fortunately I got an unexpected reversal of fortune, but so many people don't.

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    Replies
    1. That's great! Sad endings can make a good story, but happy endings are better in real life!

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  2. This one really got me, KR. A simple, yet powerful expression of real human emotions. Wonderful use of the prompt, too. Bravo!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I have been working on being succinct. Sometimes I use too many words and the impact is lost.

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  3. When two hearts find common likes, hopes grow where only death used to lie.

    I'm enchanted by the bit of sunshine you let us glimpse through the downpour. ;-)

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    Replies
    1. With a bit of luck, perhaps these two will find each other - and I'll have another story to write!

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  4. So simple. So profound. Love is such a (fickle) fiend sometimes, isn't it, striking us with unrequited feelings?

    http://www.thejadedlens.com/2014/07/19/abrupt/

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    Replies
    1. Love can lead us down a torturous path, but the prize can be worth the effort! Perhaps it will work out for these two, given time.

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    2. Your post sound like it could be a part of a much longer story Sounds interesting!

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  5. I feel sad for both of them: the poor blind girl (who can't see the love in front of her) and the poor longing boy who sees love all to clearly but cannot grasp it.

    I love how words have the power to encapsulate moments and convey emotions. Well done, K.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Tess. It is often hardest to see what is right in front us and to understand what seem to be so clear. I'm hoping they work it out eventually.

      Sorry it is taking so long to respond to your comments (and to everyone else's)! It's been a busy time for me.

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  6. I wonder if they'll ever let down their barriers enough to realise..??

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    Replies
    1. I hope so. It would make a good story!

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  7. Replies
    1. I think they will. People who feel emotions strongly have a difficult time hiding them!

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  8. Oh how incredibly written. That wealth of emotion in the last line is so powerful! 'Mine too'. So lovely!

    Shailaja/The Moving Quill

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! That was my hope for this post.

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  9. Such emotion...I can feel the heartache.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! You can feel it from both sides...

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