Thursday, May 8, 2014

FSF Challenge - Doors



Lillie McFerrin Writes
This week's writing challenge from
Five Sentence Fiction
Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt:

Doors

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.



Into this house we're born, into this world we're thrown...





Oblivious To Oblivion


Image source: http://lilliemcferrin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/dark_doors_by_traffic_sky-d6q0zx0-682x1024.jpg


     As the students and teachers made their way out of the designated shelter rooms in the center of the school, the principal remarked how they had all survived the tornado with just a few minor injuries even though the storm had blown out most of the doors and windows, and water and mud were everywhere.
    "All except for Kyle," a girl replied, nearly in tears.
    "He was outside during the storm?"
    "He was going to sneak into one of the dugouts at the ball field for a, uh, a smoke," one of the boys offered with trepidation.
    As they marched toward the exit to begin a search, Kyle strutted in where the doors had been, and upon seeing the others staring, pulled out his earbuds to say, "What?" as the voice of Jim Morrison poured from the tiny speakers.




Image source: http://lilliemcferrin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/dark_doors_by_traffic_sky-d6q0zx0-682x1024.jpg


© 2012-2014 K. R. Smith All rights reserved

30 comments:

  1. That was a good one smith :) Nice take on the prompt :)

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    1. Thanks! I need to have a little fun with these sometimes...

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  2. Interesting how some people are willing to take risks...to take a pre-aged smoke of a cigarette or even worse a marijuana joint. But why??? The only question I've got is: WHO IS JIM MORRISON, the voice we hear coming out of Kyle's earbuds???
    I enjoyed reading this.

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    1. Jim Morrison was a poet and singer for the rock band The Doors. It's sort of a pun in this story, especially since one of their most famous songs was Riders on the Storm. That might just have been the song that was playing! It all ties together with the prompt!

      Thanks for stopping by to read, and I'm glad you liked it!

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    2. Nicely done too - I adore(d) Jim Morrison, can't believe there are people that don't know him!

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    3. I can't say too much there... I can't tell you how many times people ask if I've seen that new movie with (fill in name of actor/actress) and I have no clue who they are talking about! The same for a lot of singers and bands!

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  3. Nice one.. Such an innovative take on the prompt. I really enjoyed reading it. :D

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Now I just have to find time to read all of the other entries!

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  4. This was perfect, loved your play on words - and yes I'm quite sure it was Riders on the Storm that was playing.

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    1. What else could it possibly be? Thanks!

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  5. Hahaha...boys will be boys.

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    1. Yes, we will... even if it nearly kills us!

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  6. Love the connection with Jim Morrison...genius K.R.

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    1. This may be the only time in recorded history where the word genius will appear next to my initials! Thanks!

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  7. Replies
    1. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!

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  8. My first thought was, "Boys!"
    I like how you brought it all together with the music. I didn't even think of The Doors when I read the prompt. Nice one!

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    1. If there's one where Depeche Mode fits in, I'm sure you'll beat me to it!

      And thanks!

      BTW, I'm still thinking about the "Snooze Button Mathematics" from http://writingfromthelighthouse.blogspot.com/2014/04/in-which-is-for-alarm.html . I'm sure I'll figure out a way to work that into my blog someday.

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  9. Loved your story the very clever ending. x

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    1. Thanks! And thanks for pointing me to the Horror Bites challenge!

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  10. Replies
    1. Thanks! And those are some great Mother's Day pictures on your blog!

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  11. Replies
    1. Thanks! I have a tendency to write on the dark side, so I have to lighten up every now and then!

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  12. The invinciblity of children, the innocence in the face of possible death - and the arrogance. Nicely done, with Jim slipped in there too. He also played with death, but he didn't get to win!

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    1. I've known a few people like Kyle in my high school days. They always seemed to come out on top no matter what silly thing they did! And they often had no clue as to how lucky they were.

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  13. Made me laugh. I can just imagine this clueless kids expression.

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    1. The only way I could think to do that in the limited space of a five sentence story was to use the "What?" question. I'm glad that worked!

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  14. The "what?" was absolutely perfect. I taught school for years, and I know that kid -- and all the others just like him. What a creative take on this prompt. Good writing.

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    1. Thanks! Back in high school I was probably a bit more like Kyle than I'd like to admit!

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