Thursday, August 1, 2013

FSF Challenge - Bliss



Lillie McFerrin Writes
This week's writing challenge from
Five Sentence Fiction
( Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt:

 Bliss




Nobody dies in this post. Well, at least not right away...





The Last One


 Image "Hand" courtesy of kibsri at www.freedigitalphotos.net


Gwendolyn gingerly pushed her hand in deeper, rationalizing her actions, telling herself she fully deserved what was hidden within. Yet all she'd found so far was worthless—hard and round, with the occasional sharp edge to scratch her skin. She looked up when footsteps echoed nearby, and though most everyone should have been away, stealth was the order of the day if she didn't want to be caught. Then the tips of her fingers touched the rectangular edges of the treasure she sought, a prize to be slowly and carefully extracted lest it be lost among the detritus that remained. Pulling her hand out while keeping a tenuous grip on the object of her desires, Gwendolyn smiled as she held what was surely the last piece of chocolate from the candy jar on her boss's desk.



Image "Hand" courtesy of kibsri / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


© 2012-2013 K. R. Smith All rights reserved

14 comments:

  1. Big smile! The final twist to revelation was great!
    Scott
    Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/08/01/fsf-five-sentence-fiction-8113-bliss-rated-pg13/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! We'll have to see how her boss feels about this!

      Delete
  2. You got me! Chocolate was a surprise after the picture and slightly sinister opening.

    Oh, I do hope this doesn't turn Agatha Christie and she dies of curare poisoning!

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    Replies
    1. Maybe she'll just be nice and refill her boss's jar with some fresh treats. Maybe...

      Delete
  3. Twice deep!

    Bliss in the delight of seeking it, and bliss in the possession of it.

    Beautiful, and humorous in a delicate way!


    Od Liam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I suppose there was a bit of excitement in the chase!

      Delete
  4. I love how you set up the tension of the piece and finish with the most excellent reveal. You don't have to be a chocoholic to understand her need/want/desire for the little theft she is carryout. Brilliant. And yes, bliss as her prize melts in her mouth leaving no evidence lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it could be the perfect crime, couldn't it?

      Thanks!

      Delete
  5. What the fairer sex won't do for chocolate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And those of us of the cruder sex are right behind them - chocolate-wise, that is!

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Thanks! I had fun writing it, and having worked a lot in offices I've seen this first-hand.

      Delete
  7. Nicely done! I know that feeling...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't we all? But I won't tell a soul...

      Delete

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