Monday, February 18, 2013

Five Sentence Fiction Challenge - Cherish



This week's writing challenge from Five Sentence Fiction ( Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt "cherish."

Once again, I was having a little trouble coming up with something. Maybe it was because I was rather busy this last week or just had a bit of writer's block, but either way, nothing was being written. As it turns out, however, I was rescued by another blog. I was looking over some of the other posts, and when I saw Lillie's, thought it might be nice to write it from the other side...

Directions:
  1. Read Lillie McFerrin's post
  2. Read my post (you're already there, so you don't have to do anything...).




Cherish


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He was quite surprised when Emma said she'd go to dinner with him as she'd never seemed all that interested before. When she opened the door, he couldn't even get out a word, standing there like a nervous kid in front of his first girlfriend, offering a bunch of flowers he'd bought on a whim from a roadside stand. Still, she accepted them graciously, even smiling slightly, and before she could respond he began babbling, nearly stuttering, telling her she was beautiful and how glad he was that she had agreed to go out with him. And all he could do throughout the entire evening was tell those stupid jokes because everything sensible disappeared from his mind any time their eyes met. Even after she said goodnight and closed the door, he knew the first image of her holding that bouquet would remain with him forever.


© 2012-2013 K. R. Smith All rights reserved

15 comments:

  1. I love your response to Lillie's story...and I'd imagine there are more men out there who will relate to this than admit it, but they're the quiet gentlemen of this world!

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    1. That's right! We'll never admit it - because we're tough and bad and do things on a dare - and then we get in front of that one special lady and can't remember our names or what day it is and do stupid things because... well, because we're men.

      And you know something? It's kinda fun.

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  2. Sweet & beautiful. It made me think of what Bill said about our first "date" 32+ years ago.

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    1. I'm glad it worked out for you - and for him, too. Maybe you can get him to tell us his side of that first date!

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  3. What a romantic post! Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier. :-)

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    1. Romantic? But - but - but I'm supposed to be a horror writer! You people are doing something to me. You're controlling my mind! I know it - I can feel it!

      Must...fight...back...and thanks for reading...

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  4. A lovely scene, KR, and a really lovely image at the end :)))

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    1. Lillie's post made it fairly easy - she set the whole thing up for me. I just put it in a mirror.

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  5. Awww, so romantic;I loved seeing the story from his point of view, how nervous, sensitive and romantic he is yet all he can do is fumble with jokes. Very endearing and beautifully written. x

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    1. Thanks! I didn't know I was going to get all mushy writing these things...

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  6. What else can a boy do? Still we love it when it happens... Lovely tale ;)

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    1. How true! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

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  7. What a wonderful flip-side to Lillie's story! If this is the way they both feel, you just know the relationship is headed in the right direction, and hopefully he'll be bringing her flowers for the next fifty years or more! He reminded me so much of my Papa Bear who doesn't see himself as the true romantic that he is!

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    1. Sounds like they're off to a good start!

      I think a lot of guys want to be romantic, but the execution can be a bit more awkward in real life than in a story. I'm glad you found the one that works for you!

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