Friday, November 16, 2012

FSF Challenge - Business



It's time again for another Five Sentence Fiction challenge, but before I start, I'd like to thank everyone who read my previous entries and especially those who left a comment. I also want to let those who do comment know that if they has any questions about why I wrote something the way I did, or why I did / didn't put a comma in a certain place, or why I chose a word when they think another might be better, please ask. I can learn a lot from that. Also, if they would have written the story differently, I'd be interested in hearing that, too.

And, as a warning, I do tend toward horror / speculative fiction, so my writing is often on the dark side. But not always! And not for this particular post.

On the technical end of things, I'm shortening my blog titles so they fit a bit better in the Blogger gadget displaying the entries on the right of the page. Whenever I put "Writing Challenge - Five Sentence Fiction - (prompt), the prompt was often cut short.

Anyway, I shall continue...

This week's writing challenge from Five Sentence Fiction ( Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt "Business."



The Retiree



Image "Green Field" courtesy of suphakit73 at www.freedigitalphotos.net


Arthur had spent the last forty years building his business, working long hours, and putting away a few dollars when he could for retirement. Now that day had come and he was looking forward to the peace and quiet of the small home he'd moved into to save money. On that first morning, once the breakfast dishes were all cleaned and put away, he opened the curtains in his living room, made his way to the overstuffed easy chair facing the window, and watched the clouds drift in the wind above the fields outside his house, the waves in the grass as that same breeze ran along the ground, and the occasional bird darting about in search of food, all of which left a curious, uneasy feeling in his bones. Contemplating his situation in an attempt to understand these unsettling notions, Arthur came to the conclusion that what he needed most was something to do. Perhaps he could open a shop, however small, where he could build or sell things, if for no other reason than to occupy his time.




Image "Green Field" courtesy of suphakit73 at www.freedigitalphotos.net



© 2012 K. R. Smith

12 comments:

  1. Long ago, when my dad retired, he often said he didn't know how he found time to go to work. I'm completing my 4th ear of retirement this month, and have never been bored for even a minute.

    I think you have captured Arthur very well, but his experience is totally foreign to me.

    Cheers!
    JzB

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    1. That's because you're busy writing!

      Thanks again for reading!

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  2. liked your new character--demands more for us readers,.....plus a new genre for you?

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    1. It's certainly different from what I've posted here before, but I've written a lot of different types of stories off-line. The only thing I can't say I've written is a mystery. I'll try to keep things varied even if I do write horror most of the time. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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    2. I had to recheck if my pc was going berzerk and taking me to a wrong site but nope, it was K.R alright. Good to keep things varied though, sometimes helps piece things together for perhaps a bigger work.

      Arthur did indeed remind me of my own father, who still insists on climbing ladders and roofs rather than call handy people to do work around his house and all that (what he did in his own business before retirement), still trying to be Mr. Fix It, even in his late life, but that is who he is, and why I always admired the guy.

      Great story. =-)

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    3. Yeah, it certainly is a different angle of the usual, but good story nonetheless.

      Arthur reminded me too much of my father, who tried the retirement thing for like five days and still climbing ladders and going up on roofs, still being Mr Fix It, but that's what I admired about the guy, was never a watcher type and more of a doer.

      Good job!

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    4. I wasn't sure if I should post both comments, but since they were complimentary, I decided I had nothing to lose! And the first one did have an interesting first sentence - sorry to have you second-guessing your PC! But what you say is true. Even in a horror story there can be sections that have situation that call for setting a different mood. And I do write more than horror, even though I seem to be drawn to it.

      Thanks for both comments!

      And maybe your father would be the inspiration for a good story. Something to think about!

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  3. There seem to be two types of retirees, the ones who don't miss their old working life and those who do. My Dad had a boss who retired and was bored, and was dead within six months despite being generally fit and well. Dad, on the other hand, has loved being retired and out of the rat race!
    I enjoyed your snippet, Arthur may the one of those who need to work!

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    1. Yes, poor Arthur seems to have been looking forward to something he ended up not liking. At least he was smart enough to change!

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    2. I have known several retirees who find themselves in this same predicament, they've been working so hard for so long that they really have no idea to relax and have fun with their new-found freedom. I know that will never be my problem, if the opportunity for retirement arrives before I depart, boredom is not a word in my vocabulary, but I shall likely need to replace my laptop and tablet more frequently! :-) You did a great job of detailing the feelings of this unsettling experience. I liked the piece very much!

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  4. Puts me in mind of that shop 'Needful Things' from Stephen King's novel. Nice opening to something much larger.

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    1. Not everyone's evil, you know. But if you write horror stories, it certainly helps!

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