Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Reluctantly, Part II



Since my initial effort at writing based upon a generated first wasn't too bad (even though I borrowed the line from Elly), I decided to try another. To make things a little more interesting, instead of using it to begin a new story, I thought I might add to my first story, making a "Part II," using a second "first" line.

So, during my ride home on the Metro, I pulled out my phone, browsed to Elly's blog, and tapped on the link for the First Line Generator. This is what I got:


Browser image of random first line generator on phone
My next first line reads, "She hadn't meant to take so long."

It couldn't have been better if I'd written it myself. It fits right in with where I'd left off!

Now, I set aside my next 10 minutes (or 11, in my case) to write Part II...



Part II

She hadn't meant to take so long. She just wanted to grab a quick cigarette before the boss came back. It wasn't good to keep a customer waiting, especially a new one, what with tips being as scarce as they were these days.

Kristy did a minimal hand wash, then grabbed a menu. As she walked down the counter, she hunted for a pen in her pocket to write the order. It wasn't until she was right in front of him, laying the menu on the counter, that she looked up.

"Can I get you something to..." she said, stopping mid-sentence.

Frank looked back, his eyes squinting slightly. The only sound was the rattle of the fan in the window air conditioner as they stared at each other for a moment.

"Uh, something to drink?" she added hesitantly.

"Do you have iced tea?" Frank replied without blinking or looking away from Kristy's face.

Kristy seemed almost startled that there was an answer.

"Sweetened or unsweetened?"

"Sweet."

Kristy turned slowly towards the back of the counter, picked up a glass, and filled it with ice. She knew that face. She was sure of it. She grabbed a pitcher from the refrigerator and filled the glass, her hand shaking a little. She carried it with both hands and set it in front of Frank.

"Unless you know what you want, I'll give you a minute to look over the menu."

Frank pulled the menu toward him, still looking at Kristy.

"Oh, and we're out of meatloaf."

Frank opened the menu, eventually looking down at it without interest. What was it about her that seemed so familiar? His eyes scanned the menu, but the words didn't register.



Well, that's as far as I could get in my allotted time. There are a few words I'd probably change, and it might be good to add a bit more to it. Remember, this is a first draft, so there's always a little polishing that could be done. I'm hoping the story shows a bit of tension building.

I did go back and make one change - I spelled Kristy's name wrong in one place. Hey, it has more than four letters, so it's a hard word for me.

I'm wondering if I should try for a third segment of the story based on the First Line Generator's suggestions. I'm not sure I'd get one that would fit into the story so easily, but it might be fun. Or blow the story all to bits.

If you have any thoughts on this, let me know!


© 2012 K. R. Smith

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